As much as I want to encourage first-time filmmakers, I also find
it tedious to sit through what amounts to a vanity production. This is
especially true when several of the behind-the-scenes personnel are
also appearing in leading roles.

NOT QUITE RIGHT is the story of a dysfunctional family comprised
of four brothers. As their exasperated father describes them, they are "a
cokehead, a gay dwarf, a retard and an asshole." Obviously with a dad
like that, this isn't going to be a warm and fuzzy
Father Knows Best sort
of story.

      Eldest brother Nathan (Stephen Bowman) is a gambler with a
fondness for what Jay McInerny referred to as "Bolivian Marching Powder"
and a penchant for frequenting prostitutes. Although he appears to be a
successful businessman, he spends much of his income on his twin vices.

      Second brother Jeremy (openly gay writer-director Philip Schaff) is
an ex-con juggling relationships with a long-term girlfriend (A J D’Agostino)
and an older woman (Noelle Foster). Frustrated by his past, he spends
much of his time trying to decide exactly what it is he wants from life.

      Next in the pecking order is Patrick (producer Corey Schaffer) who
appears to be mildly autistic. The other siblings try to protect him from
the world, particularly in his relationship with Angelica (Cristen Coppen)
who breaks his heart.

      Rounding out the quartet is perhaps the most well-adjusted, William
(Craig Hennon), a little person who happens to be gay and searching for
Mr. Right on the Internet.

      The brothers' lives are upended when their rich dad decides to stop
footing the bills. Patrick comes up with a scheme but he needs Patrick's
help and he manages to manipulate his mentally-challenged brother into
helping him with his not quite legal plan, which goes horribly awry.

      Made on a very low budget,
NOT QUITE RIGHT marks the debut
of writer-director Schaff. He gets some nice performances from the cast,
but he makes many mistakes that some first-time filmmakers do: scenes
drag on too long, there are extraneous subplots, and the script isn't
nearly as amusing as those behind the camera think. On the other hand,
there are some nice, gentle moments that work, making the film watchable
and not an unmitigated disaster.

                              Rating:                C -
©  2006 by C. E. Murphy. All Rights Reserved.
Not Quite Right